A Question of Reality
by kuroki50231
Summary: A JohnKat one shot where they're in a mental institution trying to leave it.


He's always been with me….

I don't want to tell him. He might not always be the nicest or the most calm, but I do care about him.

"I don't think I can tell him."

"John, I understand that he has been with you for a very long time, but if you want to take the next steps into recovery you have to. You do want to get better, don't you?"

"I do miss Lalonde, but Karkat… "

"Karkat is not his own person, he is not real. John you need to understand that in order to leave this place you must remove your attachment to this imaginary "person"."

"Miss Lalonde I understand and all but…"

"Good, then I will see you next week and we can begin on your life without Karkat."

"Ok, miss Lalonde."

She's always like this. She says her spiel and then shoves me out the door. I don't think she even cares how I feel, she just wants me to get better so she can say she fixed the unfixable.

I arrived at the first hospital 5 years ago when my mom found me screaming in a corner, because Karkat left for a little while and the monsters thought that it would be the perfect time to attack me. That's when I first learned I wasn't like all the other kids. I mean, I knew that I was different because nobody else could see Karkat. We thought that it had to do with the fact that I could see all monsters no one could see, we concluded that Karkat was a good monster and that he was supposed to protect me. Karkat has always been with me, he likes to tell me stories (at least I think he likes to, it's hard to tell)of when I was young and when I used to not be scared of the monsters. Last year Karkat told me that he loved me, it was after an attack he was badly injured in. He told me that he was scared of leaving me and that he didn't want to disappear. I promised him that I would never do anything that would let that happened. Karkat still doesn't know that he's just a projection of everything I hold back and everything that I'm not but could be, at least that's what miss Lalonde tells me.

I think that all this treatment is hurting him. He's been weaker and doesn't come around as often. He used to only go away when the therapists were around, he really doesn't like being in the hospital. He complains that the pills are trying to change me, he even makes me throw them up sometimes. When it's bed time I can hear him cry, he doesn't think I can but I do; he cries about everything they've done to me. I'll hear him remembering when they put me in isolation and he couldn't reach me, sometimes he'll scream from his body remembering the shock treatment. I feel horrible for all the horrible things that happened to him because I couldn't let go. I think I need to tell him… I need to release him. I can't keep letting them hurt him, I love him too much to let that happen. Tonight. Tonight I'll release him from all the pain being with me causes.

Upon entering my room I see Karkat sitting on the bed, I cross the room and sit next to him.

"SO YOU TALKED TO THAT BITCH AGAIN."

"Karkat, you know I have to."

"WHAT DID SHE SAY THIS TIME? MORE ABOUT ME NOT BEING REAL? OR WHAT ABOUT SUGGESTING YOU GET RID OF ME, SHE LOVES THAT ONE. "

" heheh, You do know her well."

"DON'T SAY STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT, I DON'T "KNOW HER" SHE'S JUST SO FUCKING PREDICTABLE."

"Don't be like that Kar, I didn't mean anything by it."

"I WILL BE HOWEVER THE FUCK I PLEASE, JOHN, AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

" What, don't like the name Kar? How about K-kat? Or maybe even KittyKat?"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIME I HAVE TOLD YOU, BUT I WILL GRACE YOU WITH SAYING IT ONCE AGAIN, I DO NOT WANT ANY OF YOUR STUPID NICK-NAMES BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID. GOG, HOW COULD I FALL FOR AN IDIOT LIKE YOU."

"I love you too, Karkat."

"SHUT UP, JOHN"

"Joking aside I need you to calm down. There's something we really need to talk about."

"CALM DOWN? I'M ALWAYS CALM, JOHN. CAN'T YOU TELL HOW CALM I AM BY THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE? I AM AS CHILL AS A FUCKING ICE CUBE, IN FACT THE ICE CUBE IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO HOW FUCKING CALM I AM. I AM COOLER THAN THAT OBNOXIOUS "COOL" KID ACROSS THE WAY, I AM EVEN WAY COOLER THAN THAN HIS "BRO" HE PRETENDS TO BE. I AM THE COOLEST,CALMEST, AND MOST CHILL THING IN THIS HOSPITAL, MAYBE EVEN…"

"KARKAT, please I'm serious."

"I...I.. WHATEVER JUST GET ON WITH IT."

"Karkat…. Karkat, I'm not real."

" I'M SORRY JOHN, I THINK I'M HEARING THINGS BECAUSE I SWEAR THAT I JUST HEARD YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE "not real", BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS RIGHT, JOHN? Right?"

"I'm sorry Karkat , I'm so sorry. But I can't let you live like this."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JOHN? WHAT'S HAPPENING? what's going to happen?"

"I'm so very sorry, I love you Karkat, I'm so sorry I love you."

"John don't leave ME.

I pulled Karkat into a long slow kiss as I slowly faded away

Fin


End file.
